My Sunday morning went like this:
8.00am - alarm - slightly louder than anticipated which gave us a bit of a jump - then FB got up to take T to rugby (due at the rugby club at 9.00),
8.10am - FB - "Get up T",
8.15am - FB - "GET UP T",
8.20am - FB - "GET UP TO, YOUR BREAKFAST'S READY - YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE",
8.21am - T - Indistinct grunt,
8.30am - T eats breakfast,
8.35am - FB - "T- do the chickens", sound of door banging and then T returning,
FB - "Did you collect the eggs?"
T - "No"
FB - "What is the point of having chickens ............................"
8.40am - FB - "OK T, are you ready?",
T - "No"
8.43am - FB, "T, are you ready?",
T - "NO - DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M READY? G - WHERE ARE MY TRAINERS AND TRACKSUIT?"
G - Indistinct grunt from beneath the bed clothes
T - "AAAAAGH - CAN'T FIND MY TRAINERS AND TRACKSUIT - WHERE ARE THEY? - WHO'S MOVED THEM? - AAAAAAAAAGH!!!
G - (Less indistinct now) - "NOTHING TO DO WITH ME - IT'S YOUR KIT, NOT MINE"
FB - "YOU'RE REALLY LATE NOW T - WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THIS YESTERDAY - THIS HAPPENS EVERY WEEK .............................(etc, etc, etc - you get the picture)
T - IT'S NOT MY FAULT ................................... (etc, etc, etc, - you get the picture)
At about 8.55am the door finally slammed and all was quiet.
Throughout all of this I had remained in bed and quietly knitted on my new tea cosy design. G was quiet (presumably returning to gentle slumber under the bedclothes). All was well.
Then the phone rang. "Sorry if this message is a little late but the match is cancelled due to the frozen pitch" .........................
...........I rang FB on his mobile. Switched off. I rang again. And again. And again. Nothing.
Returned to knitting.
Phone rang again. Another parent asking if we'd got the message. Yes, thanks very much.
Tried FB again. Nothing. Returned to knitting.
After about 3 rows the phone rang again,
T - "Mum - there's no-one here"
Me - "Yes, I know - match is cancelled - where's Dad?"
T - "He's gone home"
Almost at that exact moment I heard the back door slam.
Me - (there may have been a tiny note of sarcasm in my voice, "FB - when you have a mobile it's a really good idea to turn it on ................"
FB - "**$£"£$^&****£$"£%**"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was your Sunday morning?
My tea cosy is coming on really well ................
T - IT'S NOT MY FAULT ................................... (etc, etc, etc, - you get the picture)
At about 8.55am the door finally slammed and all was quiet.
Throughout all of this I had remained in bed and quietly knitted on my new tea cosy design. G was quiet (presumably returning to gentle slumber under the bedclothes). All was well.
Then the phone rang. "Sorry if this message is a little late but the match is cancelled due to the frozen pitch" .........................
...........I rang FB on his mobile. Switched off. I rang again. And again. And again. Nothing.
Returned to knitting.
Phone rang again. Another parent asking if we'd got the message. Yes, thanks very much.
Tried FB again. Nothing. Returned to knitting.
After about 3 rows the phone rang again,
T - "Mum - there's no-one here"
Me - "Yes, I know - match is cancelled - where's Dad?"
T - "He's gone home"
Almost at that exact moment I heard the back door slam.
Me - (there may have been a tiny note of sarcasm in my voice, "FB - when you have a mobile it's a really good idea to turn it on ................"
FB - "**$£"£$^&****£$"£%**"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was your Sunday morning?
My tea cosy is coming on really well ................
I must be an evil person because this left me rolling with laughter! (and having met FB I know he's a nice bloke and don't wish this sort of thing to happen to him).
ReplyDeleteHow was the rest of his Sunday? Mine was brilliant: a lovely 10 mile run, followed by a lazy afternoon.